Why The Hell Are You Here, Teacher!?
Four teenage boys may wind up the romantic partners of four female teachers...AFTER considerable groping of said teachers...
Yes, the theme of this show IS a pretty common fantasy of adolescent males. (Some of my gender never really grow out of it, too: consider Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher".) But let's be real here- even where their students are no longer legal minors, teachers are still entrusted with guardianship of their charges, and affairs with students are regarded as betrayals of trust that will destroy their careers, and possibly get them sent to prison, even in Japan. If such a pair really can't help falling for each other, you'd hope they'd at least postpone any relationship until the student has graduated. Of our four ladies in THIS show, only ONE of them had enough sense to do this- and I was kind of surprised about which one that was.
I reviewed a show a while ago called Domestic Girlfriend, which played the scenario of our OTHER three ladies here seriously, and I wound up hating both the teacher there AND the student, her for her abysmally poor judgment in getting sexually involved with a student in the first place, and him for both his selfishness AND his harem indecisiveness. (At one point I was wishing on Domestic Girlfriend's "hero" a fate similar to that of the equally faithless male protagonist in School Days.) But I remarked that I couldn't quite work up as much bile toward What The Hell...; I said in that earlier review that I found this show at least less depressing, partly because THIS one is billed as a "comedy" (though it's an awfully weak one), and therefore not intended to be taken as serious drama, or as ANYTHING other than fantasy wish-fulfillment. It's also partly because our "couples" here are at least sincerely devoted to each other (monogamous.) And it's partly because there are a FEW jokes here that DO work.
The main problem with this show, aside from the impropriety of the relationships in the first place (which I DID find a BIG problem), is the tiresomely repetitive fanservice formula in use. EVERY teacher/student pair here will experience several iterations of it, which go like this: teacher falls into embarrassing and/or apparently dangerous situation; student tries to save/"help" teacher, but instead ends up stripping teacher bare; further efforts to "help" teacher involve pratfalls (and you wouldn't believe how contrived some of those get to be) that result in teacher getting intimately groped by student instead. REPEATEDLY. And yet this is not a satisfying development even for those who might WANT to see it, for this is all pretty heavily censored (by Crunchyroll or in the original, I don't know), which means we're sometimes not even sure what it IS we're not-quite-seeing; often we have only the evidence of the little we do see (and hear), combined with the way the scene was set up, to help us try to infer What The Hell Is Going On. None of this is really funny- as presented, it's not sexy either- but it seems to be the main preoccupation of the series' creator; all the stories are built around...well, seduction by gropage, I suppose.
Now in fairness the show does have some (though very few) virtues. The opening and closing songs are perky and cute (though their lyrics are as T&A-charged as the rest of the show; one of the later episodes was aired with the English translation of them.)
And the show's title is an effective gag in at least some of our first story's encounters, when our student hero Ichiro Sato finds teacher Kana Kojima showing up in the most unexpected places where he happens to be: in the men's restroom; in a laundromat; at his home; IN HIS BEDROOM. (Ichiro's mom's work for the last two; she REALLY wants Kojima as a daughter-in-law.) Kojima's supposed to be our tsundere, by the way. We're flooded by omorashi fetish again, alas. (See Charger Girl Ju-den Chan...well, no, on second thought, DON'T see it.)
Next we have Rin Suzuki and Mayu Matsukaze. The show does get a few good laughs out of Rin's threatening-looking countenance, but Mayu IS the Pervert's Dream Girl as depicted in Excel Saga, looking like a child (and despite being a teacher, Mayu ACTS like one too), but nevertheless being equipped with ENORMOUS breasts. (Though NONE of the ladies here are exactly flat-chested.) As with a couple of our other pairs, Mayu and Rin met each other BEFORE they became teacher and student. I wonder if the show is trying to say this makes it all OK...
Couple #3 is Hikari Hazakura and Takashi Takahashi. Hikari's the P.E. teacher and is loud, crass, and generally obnoxious, in addition to being given to petty vindictiveness. Takashi, on the other hand, has the timid demeanor and small stature of Girls Bravo's Yukinari, so she naturally bullies him, but as we all know any shrew may be tamed with sufficient groping. (Yes, that's snark/sarcasm.) Omorashi shows up yet AGAIN, too. (I guess the show's creator REALLY likes THAT one.)
Finally we have "School Nurse" Chizuru Tachibana, of the seemingly-emotionless silver-haired species of anime female, and HER would-be swain, one Koh Tanaka. She has a lot of trouble communicating her feelings ("I've failed again" is her tagline), while Koh is feeling frustrated because all his buds have teacher-girlfriends and he doesn't. Well, the whole SHOW is about wish-fulfillment, and since he IS a player in it, I'd say Koh's chances are pretty good.
For the Recommendation, I'll list a show with a teacher and students, but a much better one. Though I doubt it would appeal much to someone looking for what THIS show is providing.
I can't emphasize this enough: it's not just the impropriety of the relationships themselves (thought there IS that); it's the ENDLESSLY REPETITIVE GROPING SCENES, along with all the related humiliation and embarrassment of the women here, that finally completely wore out my patience. Why these women would STILL want to be with these boys after all this (even given the meta-point that it's only the show's writer's intentions, not that of the boys THEMSELVES) is kind of a mystery. Perhaps they're like the leading lady in 50 Shades of Grey? There's a weird schizoid disconnect between what actually transpires here, versus the show's apparent intention (as evidenced by the opener and closer) to somehow be perceived as light and sweet. — Allen Moody
Recommended Audience: Rampant sexual molestation (intentional or no), nudity (even if optically censored), and various forms of unpleasantness. We'll rate it R (16+).
Version(s) Viewed: Streaming on Crunchyroll
Review Status: Full (12/12)
Why The Hell Are You Here, Teacher!? © 2019 Tear Studio.
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