AKA: N/A

Genre: Magical thief action

Length: Television series, 12 episodes, 15 minutes each

Distributor: R1 DVD from Media Blasters (noooooooooo!)

Content Rating: 16+ (some violence, lots of sexual innuendo and situations)

Related Series: N/A

Also Recommended: Lupin III

Notes: Based on the manga by Akahori Satoru and Itaba Hiroshi.

Rating:

Mouse

Synopsis

For centuries, a family of mysterious thieves under the moniker of "Mouse" has eluded the authorities, stealing priceless artifacts in acts of spectacular daring.

The latest Mouse: Sorata, a nebbish college student who is surrounded by three ridiculously buxom assistants who help him pull off ridiculously excessive heists of art museums and landmark towers.

Review

It's the ecchi version of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego!

No, I wish I were kidding.

We have this guy, you see, who can steal entire buildings and drag great structures out to sea without getting caught.

Suspension of disbelief? Well, sure. I'll buy that.

Then afterwards, "Mouse" is surrounded by his bountifully breasted, cat suited assistants and then tries to refuse their blatant sexual advances, loudly protesting as they jump him and "send their master to paradise".

Suspension of disbelief? Only if I'm willing to buy oceanfront property in Sun Devil Stadium!!!

Granted, the shallow characterizations (wow, _that_ is an understatement!) are only the beginning of the issues this show exhibits. From the get-go, Mouse plays like a perverted, low-rent Lupin, complete with inept detectives, calling cards, and inexplicable usage of high technology.

Somewhere in the middle, there are equally pointless school scenes in which random schoolgirls show off their panties to the camera and profess their love for their art teacher, while praising the deeds of "that famous thief" in nigh-orgasmic intensity.

By this point, I'm wondering if anyone else is having a hard time swallowing this as part of the "Kids Station". Somewhere in Japan, some PTA is certain to have formed a lynch mob, and if I weren't stuck in America, I'd arm them myself. (Okay, maybe "Kids Station" isn't really for kids after all...no, no, it's just a name.)

The whole thing smells like a self-insert fanfiction in which the author is remade into this perfect guy who can do *anything*, and yet is so "noble" as to try to resist the initial temptation of panty-less girls who raise their skirts while sitting on his lap. Yeah, suuuuuuure.

Perhaps I'd be more forgiving if there was anything else to fall back on, like entertaining music, or crackerjack writing, or manageably decent animation.

Nope, nuh-uh, and no way.

The music consists of squeaky ballads like "Mouse Chu Mouse" ("Mouth to Mouth", get it! A pun! HahahaNOT.) and the end song, which I'm sure the entirety of THEM would like to forget ever existed - paired, naturally, with a cutesy no-budget ending sequence. The writers come up with lines yanked almost verbatim from Monty Python's Castle Anthrax: "Let's take our master to paradise!" "Oh punish us, please!" "First the spanking, then..." The animation is surprisingly amateurish and low budget, with unappealing "cute girls" and costumes that would look outlandish in a rave.

I guess I probably would have liked this when I was thirteen and desperate, but I'm sure we all like to think we've grown past this sort of puerile nonsense. As it stands, all Mouse has to offer are ridiculously contrived heists, bimbos with ridiculously contrived breasts, and a ridiculously contrived "hero" who is a complete dork.

Don't let the name fool you. Mouse is one hell of a turkey.

Thanksgiving sure came early this year. Thanks a lot, Akahori Satoru-san.

Even the most rabidly hormonal teenage fanboys in our club wanted to switch this terminally stupid series off after just two episodes. — Carlos/Giancarla Ross

Recommended Audience: Well, here's a quandary. We've got wanton strumpets in catsuits, explosions, wanton strumpets in maid outfits, explosions, wanton strumpets in school uniforms, and explosions. Children wouldn't get it, teens shouldn't be allowed to see it, and most adults would be embarrassed watching it.